Deeper Than Face Value

She’d have to be a Queen

Because when I look in the mirror all I see royalty

Royal is he, the man that I see because

He expects nothing but the best from the image in which seems to

Peirce his soul and look deep into his dreams

So she’d HAVE to be a Queen

Naw purple aint gotta be her favorite color but

Id expect more to come out her mouth than “hmm baby what color do you think I should get my nails”

Regal with her dialect and intellectual with her speech

Never overstepping each other’s power, because we’d rule…together

She’d have to be a Queen

Cause you see, growing up my Dad always had my Mom

Black spaded and clubbed Kings always had their Queens

Chess wouldn’t be the same without the famous couple

And neither would checkers

The games wouldn’t exist…without a Queen

A counterpart made in the image of the King

Not pressed to be just like him but powerful in her own way

And like that of a chess board, she’d stand by my side

So It’s obvious to me

She’d have to be a Queen

But that was wayyy back then when

Queens were born and seldomly made and

Princesses were given the crown to take up the throne

But us?.....

We live in time where, welfare was created to

Break black homes

Moms knowing that the ONLY way that check would come in the mail

Is if pops was no longer around..…

So homes became broken like

Bottle caps sitting empty on

Street corners where love isn’t felt no more

Places where little girls have no father figures so they

Look up to the boy that only wants to look up and hook up

With whatever is under that skirts

Heartbroken…dreams crushed…

This is why self worth is important because

If she were only to look in that mirror and see royalty

Royal is she, the woman that she sees because

She expects nothing but the best from the image in which seems to

Peirce her soul and look deep into her dreams

Expecting much…and never settling for less

She'd think of herself as a Queen

She wrote

"I love him but...
We have been together for ONLY a year and
I already hurt when I go to bed at night
Yes those sweet pillow talks that often rolled into
Sun rise mornings were great at first but
Now I hurt so much to the point that
Sleeping on my left side is as impossible as
Getting my point through to him
Because his temper is short...
Dynamite euphoria.."

She wrote

"Yes the way he used to touch me was unlike any other but
Now tht sweet skin contact is replaced with
Horrible black bruises and
Somehow I keep telling myself that
"Things will get better"
If I just..Do a better job and
Follow what he says I wont make him so mad
After all thats what love IS, right??"

Memoirs of the physically abused
Dead letters of the sweet girls that choose
....to stick around
No the logic isn't sound because they think
LOVE has been found..
So far under that false emotional influence that
They fail to hear the oncoming horn that
keeps blowing they're mind
Head on collision may cause more than just
Heart break

She wrote

"It's starting to get hard to hide these
Bruises that mark my outside and
I just KNOW my friends see them from time to time
But not one has said a word
Instead they chose to bring up random topics just to
Break that awkward silence
And I don't blame them for not speaking up and asking
I never tell just like they never ask
Its true when they say you are the company you keep
Id call us Silence Incorporated"

She wrote

"I used to be turned on by your passion
The way you got so mad that you
Punched and kicked walls but
Not once did it cross my mind that
You would substitute those walls with me
Some day I'll build enough courage to
Tell someone who can help me escape this
Domestic reconstruction of my
Physical...
Emotional AND Mental make up"

Poetic cries in a journal that go unsaid
But the context of the situation changed
...When she was found dead....
Because once it starts it rarely ends
Only if she would have told her family
Or even, just a friend
But instead all that's left
If what She wrote

So since we are on the topic of love (This week being Valentine's Day), I thought I'd write according to the theme. A lot of people have different interpretations of what "love" is them personally. Whether it be a group of emotions, feelings, sense of emotional high, or bubble gut euphoria. Love has its most concrete definition in the most commonly read book around. The Bible

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud" -1 Corinthians 13:4

It is always IDEAL to experience what we think to be "love" and compare it to the scripture. But not always does the experience match the literature. I personally have experienced my share of this "love". But I also, just like every one else in this world, have a personal interpretation on what love means to me.

Oct 22, 2006 I was first introduced to "love". It's true origin was a good month and a half before but, That was the day I started dating my first love. Never before (or after) in my LIFE had I worked that hard to be with a girl. Fighting all adversity, Transportation issues (back then I ain't drive lol), Parental Disagreements, and other issues. I put in WORK. And from the outside looking in, some females would say I was running "game". But in a males prospective, it's seen as "work". A man personally wont put TIME into anything he doesn't feel will benefit or at least have chance of success..When it comes to relationships, once a man's vulnerability is met halfway, an investment begins to be made.

I experienced love at is rawest form. Never before that time, did I ever put such a word with such an indescribable emotion. I say all this to say this, Love to ME, is at its best when its the very first time. Yea things happen the way they did and you and your first may not still be together. But i feel like after your first love, every love after is just a subconscious corrective state of the love before, in the pursuit to obtain a love that "feels" right.

Yes love is different with each person you experience it with, but how would you even know what love is if you would have never experienced your first love..How would you know what love is and isn't if it wasn't for your first. And we wonder why the connection with our first is so deep and often the hardest to detach from.

Just food for thought.... Peace&LOVE